Tuesday, June 10, 2008

100 Things: the Divided List

So in today's 100 things I'm going to be a bit different. Instead of a list of 10 things on 1 topic, I am going to cover 3 topics.

5 Things I can do that I wish I couldn't, 4 Things I wish I COULD do, and the WORST job ever.


5 Things I can do that I wish I couldn't:

1) My jaw is double jointed on the Left side, and is constantly popping, cracking, and generally being a nuisance. I therefore wish either both sides were double jointed(Seriously just one side WTF?!) or neither!

2) I can CORRECTLY hold down a squirming, wiggly infant/toddler while doctors place a catheter in her to extract urine.

3) I can also hold down a toddler while they draw blood from her arm while she is screaming and flailing. The nurses were in awe of this skill yesterday during our 'emergency' doctors appointment.

4) I can identify, and fix most minor problems in a small tractor engine. Also some large tractors too.

5) I know several ways to easily, and quickly dispose of bodies. My favorite saying used to be- "I got a shovel, and my neighbors 20 acres, don't trifle with me"


4 Things I wish I COULD Do:

1) I wish I could be coordinated enough to climb things, and NOT get hurt. It seems like everytime I climb something, I end up hurt. This is why I was freaked the frell out yesterday when I was up on that ladder in the thunderstorm, playing with the extension cord that powers the barn. Seriously Electricity+Thunderstorm+Ladder+Me = T R O U B L E

2) I wish I could speak my mind to people when they are doing something I don't agree with. Instead I usually store it away, and stew over it until later, and then get angry, but never say anything.

3) I wish I could kick some sense into my Ex and make him realize that I am NOT the person he thinks I am. Namely I am NOT a Lesbian Whore.  Thank. You. Very. Much!

4) I wish I could show emotion. I seriously suck at expressing emotions. I may be a girl, and I may have a crapload of estrogen at my disposal, but I cannot bring myself to cry, even over most 'chick flicks'.

Finally: The WORST Job I've Ever Held:

1) Pea Viner Operator. I hate it, yet I keep going back. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm going back for a 3rd summer this year even after last years "Dead Body Incident" *shakes head at the memory*


Tranny Head said...

I have major questions about this.

1. A lesbian whore? What the hell? Why a lesbian whore?

2. Being able to speak your mind is not always a good skill. Take it from somebody who rips people a new one on a regular basis.

3. What the hell is last year's "Dead body" incident?!?

welshnikki said...

Sorry to hear about the medical emergency with Kenzie.

Would it be weird to post you a squirrel hug here? Here's one anyway:

{{{squirrel hugs }} he he.

Do I want to know about the "Dead body incident". Presumably animal not human?