Friday, January 11, 2008

Insert witty title here

So today has been an all around F'ed up day. It started with me 'oversleeping'(read sleeping for the first notable stretch all week), and running behind. That was followed by a long day with Gma, and a trip to the mall. All of which involved my current least favorite activity- riding in the car.

On a bright note I went to the local grocery mart here and they agreed to donate 300 bottles of water to our Country Living Expo.

In case you hadn't heard(and i know some of my fair readers havent) I was in a car accident a week ago thursday(yesterday). I wasn't physically hurt(i'll confirm this fact tuesday hopefully if all goes well) but mentally I have become a hyperventilating ball of goo. My neck and upper back have been seriously sore since it happened, and so the Dr. at the Walk In Clinic prescribed me muscle relaxers for 4 x's a day. Uh, how'mI supposed to take care of Kenzie? So I have been trying to avoid them as A) they turn me into a ball of goo, and B) they make me a wee bit paranoid(the other night i spent 4 hours sitting by kenzies crib watching her sleep). To make everything even more wonderful the last few nights(since Tuesday) I have been having horrific panic attacks. I literally cannot close my eyes easily and fearlessly. I have taken to sleeping(laying there staring at the ceiling) with Peter, and Bob along with my sound machine set to waves after making the whole room smell like coconuts to distract me.

I tried to explain to Dad today that yesterday the reason I was so mad at him was that when I updated him on the stituation with the insurance company that at that time I just wanted to vent not have him ride in and 'save the day' for me. I probably would have gone to him for help but I wanted it to be MY choice not HIS. He apparently thinks that I am just telling him to leave me the heck alone. *sighs* why are men so annoying?

Oh and on another front I got my Pap Smear letter in the mail today(mind you I had it last month on the 13th) telling me that my results came back 'not normal' so they ran an HPV test but that came back Negative, so that I should 'just follow up in a year'. I sat there shaking my head as I DISTINCTLY remember my Dr. telling me that if anything was 'not normal' she'd give me a call and let me know. So, uh, why am I just now finding out about it? Almost a FULL MONTH later?! Tuesday I think I will be following up on that and asking about my 'normal' thyroid levels as I still am really tired(though now i can't sleep so ironic aye?) and depressed and am gaining mass weight but not really eating. *sighs*

Oh and a week from tommorow is the BIG DAY! I can't believe it is here already, it seems like just yesterday we started planning! Today my box from the USBGA arrived in the mail and it was like christmas all over again except for it was all for me I don't have to share for a whole week!

1 comment:

lysambre said...

I don't know the details of the car accident, but have you tried to see exactly when and/or why you get a panic attack ?

Sometimes it can help trying to pinpoint such things as it gives you power over the panick attack and helps you prevent it to get too bad.

Good luck and big hugs from a fellow squirrel ;)