Sunday, May 11, 2008

To my Mothers'

Graduation 015

Today is a day in which most people celebrate the woman who raised them, and nutured them through their childhood and into adulthood.

For me this day is more about the group of women who shaped who I am and who I am becoming today not my mother.

All through my childhood, I didn't get along real well with my mother, and it went drastically downhill the year my sister was born, and my uncle and grandfather died(her brother and father). For me that was a turning point in our relationship we went from being mother and daughter to sworn enemies(and I was only 7 mind you). This trend continued for years right up to and through High school. Now we are getting back into a more 'traditional' mother daughter relationship but it is and will take time, and honestly may never be 'normal'.

So back to the women who are my Mothers'. I cannot stress how much I admire, respect, and value these women and what they taught me. If it weren't for some of them I may not of even made it through high school.

I remember when I started high school how alone, and scared I felt, feeling out of my skin and exposed to a whole new world. I found my rocks, and touchstones in these women. I cannot even truly express the gratitude I feel toward them.

The best I can do is give you an example.

So throughout my freshman, and sophomore year I struggled in my classes and didn't feel motivated to learn. I turned to one of the women and confided in her my issues(she already knew most of them as we were quite close), and we sat and discussed the problem me revealing the fear that if something didn't change drastically that I would end up dropping out because I hated school so much at that point. She and I came up with the solution that I should apply for the 'alternative school'(AS) and see how that would work out. We both recognized that my mother would NOT approve of this move, so we worked very closely with my dad, getting all the paperwork through and approved, except for the interview portion of the process.

School ended, I went off and did my summer activities met the ex, had my accident, forgot about the whole AS thing. That is until one day shortly after my accident when we got a call that I needed to come in and do my interview. Up until that point my mother had remained in the dark, at the point that she found out about my 'change' in schooling she blew every bit of cool out of the water, and called me every bad name you can call a girl under the sun to my face. Needless to say I was DEVASTATED. So I went in did my interview and was accepted into the AS.

School started and I settled in and LOVED the new enviroment. Though I never could really push her words out of my head, so 'my mothers' stepped up to the plate to give me that extra nudge of self esteem that I needed, supporting me through that year and into the next. With their support I thrived in school making up my missed credits and actually getting ahead in my studies. Thanks to them I was able to feel comfortable in my decision and not spend 2 years second guessing if I 'did the right thing'.

If it weren't for them I don't think I'd have half the courage that I do today. I know now that they were wiser and smarter on some issues *ahem*my ex*ahem* and that maybe I should of listened to them but they still have supported me even now(we are still quite close).

So today I would like to dedicate my mothers day to them. The women who saved me from me. Thank you!


Anonymous said...

Great post ! And thanks for reminding us all that family are not only people related to you by blood but also the people you choose to be in your life :)

Law Student Hot Mama said...

Aww . . . good for you! And good for them - sweet post.

And I don't think any mother/daugher relationship is "normal!" I mean, hell, my mom told me I was fat all the time growing up! Thankfully I did NOT develop an eating disorder . . . but age has given me perspective on it. I decided SHE's the one with the eating problem (she doesn't!) but I still love her anyway!

Anyway, I back up lysambre - family is more than the people you live with!

Alicia said...

I gave my sister a Mother's Day card one year, with a quote from SARK along the lines that aunts and friends can play as important a role in a child's life as their mother, or even more so, and should be recognized.
Beautiful post. I hope they get to see it. I'm sure they will be very touched.